


Wherein EXO just wants to fit in

by Lolistar92



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 09:40:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1600232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolistar92/pseuds/Lolistar92
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was feeling crackalicious and ended up making drabbles (200-500 words) featuring EXO with various SM members in weird situations. Whoops?</p><p>Pairings are (mostly gen): Xiumin/Heechul, Suho/Victoria, Lay/Hangeng, Baekhyun/Taeyeon, Tao/Jaejoong, Chen/Changmin, D.O./Ryeowook,  Kai/Taemin+ BoA, Sehun/Krystal, Chanyeol/Siwon, Luhan/Minho, Kris/Amber</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wherein EXO just wants to fit in

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! My first foray into EXO happens to be crack drabbles about how they would interact with their SM sunbae. Cue awkward korean honorfics and attempts at humor. -head desk-
> 
> Grammar: Unbeted, mistakes are totally mine (and I stand by them! -cries-) but beware awkward past/present switches in tenses. Yeah, I didn't do so hot in english.

**Xiumin-Heechul**

“Uh, what are you doing, hyung?” Sehun stares down at the oldest EXO member, huddled deep within the racks of clothes that they will be wearing later on for their stage. Xiumin is just tiny enough to succeed in having most of his body covered. But the shoes.

“Shhhh! He’ll find me!” comes the whispered hysterical cry. Sehun has just a second to wonder who when Heechul comes storming in through the door. It’s an automatic reaction to do a half bow but the older male doesn’t even acknowledge him before dramatically stomping over to clothes rack and pushing it aside.

“Really darling! If you wanted to hide, you could have chosen much better places. Now come to hyung,” Heechul coos, dragging the wide eyed Xiumin up and out of the room before Sehun can finish hearing the choked off scream of protest.

“What was that all about?” Luhan comes up and asks, eyes crinkled in confusion. Sehun shrugs. He wonders if he could wheedle bubble tea out of his hyung before rehearsals start.

Five hours later he sips the sweet milk tea and eyes the bruises on Xiumin’s cheeks and the haunted look in his eyes before deciding he’s better off not knowing.

 

**Kai-Taemin + BoA**

“BoA-noona likes me better!” comes the petulant whine. Kai can’t stop the vindictive smirk that curls up on his lips because finally he has one-upped Taemin.

He shoves his best friend hard who only shoves back harder sending him flying into the wall. He’s about to attack Taemin again before he realizes that a few of the people in the crowded waiting room full of SM members have turned to look at the noise. Including BoA.

Widening his eyes a bit he rubs his arm with a pout before walking pitifully towards BoA. Taemin protests of betrayal and how much a pussy Kai is rolls right off him.

“Noona, I’m your favorite, right?”

BoA gives him a knowing smile before exaggeratingly petting his arm. “Aw poor baby, is mean old Taeminnie hurting you? Noona will make it better,” she cooes with fake kiss noises and all and Kai feels a warm feeling in his stomach and can’t stop a silly grin from appearing on his face.

He catches BoA gracefully side stepping as Taemin lunges at Kai’s back but Kai knows his best friend and would just like to point out he totally saw it coming. He puts up with the chokehold around his neck and just hooks his arms underneath skinny thighs before smiling at BoA who smiles right back, ruffling his hair and ignoring Taemin’s pout for attention. Kai revels at the judging look sent Taemin’s way as the older continues to whine (probably tipsy from the complimentary champagne). Key gives the pair a glare and Kai feels a satisfying curl of pleasure in the pit of his stomach knowing Taemin was going to get scolded later on.

Good, the bitchy brat gets away with too much.

“I hate you!” Taemin dramatically wails into his ear when BoA walks away without acknowledging Taemin. He going limp and Kai ‘ooffs’ at the sudden heaviness.

“S’okay, BoA noona has enough love for me to go on without you,” he says cheekily and laughs as the he gets punched again.

 

**Chen - Changmin**

“You have the perfect lips for a blow job,” Chen blurts out hands clamping over his mouth immediately like he can stuff the words back in.

He watches the other male turn to him and his eyes are fixed on those blow-joby lips. He sees them curl and brings his eyes up (and up) to meet that of his sunbae’s.

Changmin only raises an eyebrow before giving Chen a long once over. He uncrosses his long legs, (and Chen is totally not staring at the flesh of Changmin’s ankle. Nope.) before standing up and Chen shudders body going hot and cold all over. Curse his inability to have a proper brain to mouth filter.

A devious smirk is etched onto Changmin’s face and Chen’s own nature reacts and thinks of the glorious things they could be doing together. In bed. Immediately his mind conjures up images to go with his compliment.

“Oh, do I now?” Changmin purrs, caging Chen against the wall. Chen lets out a sound that is a cross between a squeak and a whimper and is half hard in seconds.

Oh well, he’s already come this far. “Yeah,” he drawls doing that thing with his voice that gives it a small rumble,“Wanna give me a demonstration?” he hopes his smirk comes out sexy and confident.

Changmin does that endearing snort-laugh and it’s Chen who falls to his knees instead.

 

**Lay –Hangeng**

EXO is officially not supposed to be speaking to Hangeng. But seeing as they run in the same circle it’s very hard not to bump into the other. Like all the time. Lay is convinced Hangeng-ge doesn’t even know he exists and contents himself with doing moon eyes from across the room. It’s not like anyone notices, they always think he’s half blazed. So he’s free to ogle his senior all he wants.

Except the one time he actually is blazed and after blinking really slowly realizes he’s lost sight of the older Chinese (god) man.

“You’re doing a great job,” Lay jolts and turns around slowly (half because he can’t help it and the other half because the moment calls for it).

He feels electricity down his spine, blood pumping faster than the beat of the song in the background as he looks up at the older man.

Cool. Be cool, Yixing.

“Gah,”

Lay is too dazed to even be embarrassed at the decidedly uncool sound he makes and he watches with more attention than he has paid to anyone the entire day (past 6 years) as Hangeng’s mouth quirks up in a smile.

Thoughts of licking that smile are coupled with the sudden need to be cool again.

“Do you want to get a drink with me?” He rushes out in a second. He thinks he may have asked in Korean. The older looks surprised at Lay’s forwardness but the other hasn’t even seen forward unless he wants Lay on all fours.

He gets a laugh this time and a friendly pat on his head before the hand trails down to the nape of his neck. Lay thinks all the blood in his body might have accumulated in his face which is preferable to other parts of his body. +He wants to fidget but he doesn’t dare do anything to remove that hand.

“Sure, Yixing,”

EXO would never ever believe their easy going Lay had the ability to squeal.

 

 

**Suho-Victoria**

“Noona, really you don’t need to - ,” Suho feebly protests as the older woman pushes him on the couch before wrapping him snuggly in a blanket.

“Of course I do, Joonmyeonie,” and Suho really shouldn’t be so captivated by the way she bats her eyelashes.

He tries to protest again. “Leeteuk-hyung and Yunho-sunbaenim said they’d talk to me later about leader duties. Really there is no need to go out of your way for me -”

“They’re just going to give you that stupid pep talk about how you need to be the rock or pillar or something else, and how important it is to make sure the others don’t do anything that will get you fired with their phones,” Victoria rolls her eyes before disappearing into the kitchen and returning back with arms full of junk food.

Suho opens his mouth again, “Taeyeon-sunbae,” he unconvincingly starts. Victoria gives him a blank look at Suho actually feels ashamed. Then he feels bad for being ashamed. He starts mentally apologizing to the SNSD leader in his head, formal bows and all.

“Onew-hyung-” once more he is cut off.

“Onew is whipped.” Suho feels a jolt ignite in the pit of his stomach when Victoria makes ‘swish’ sound of a whip hand gestures and all. “Key rules SHINee now. And who do you think made it that way?” Her devious smirk halts all question of who is actually the senior.

Suho’s mouth is gaping which has Victoria picking up a skittle from the candy stash and aiming for it. It bounces off his teeth before landing into the pool of blanket at his crotch. Victoria leans down to pick it up again.

Suho doesn’t protest any more.

__

“So you have to be very attentive to their needs. Always have chocolate on hand,” she leans down to blow on the black nail polish on Suho’s hand. Suho has given up trying to protect his manly side three hours ago when they made hot chocolate and Victoria tried to curl his hair.

Suho nods and thinks of the way Kris gets extra irritated certain times of the month. He takes the advice gratefully.

**D.O –Ryeowook**

“I wonder though – who can do more love squats holding the other?” Sungmin asks, eyes grinning.

D.O. and Ryeowook look at each other as the other members break into rambunctious laughter. His eyes glide over the frame of his slender hyung. Just to assess of course. Huh, ass.

He was broken out of his own silent laughter when Baekyeol loudly ask (i.e. demand) that they find out.

D.O. gets out of his seat gracefully and strides up to Ryeowook-hyung who is trying to shut the whole thing down. Too late with the camera crew already positioned to record it.

Ryeowook’s face was turns down in an unhappy frown and D.O.’s heart stutters a bit. With some fast thinking he may just be able to preserve his title of the favorite dosaeng. He walked behind the older and quietly whispers, “Follow my lead, hyung”.

Ryeowook looks at him and nods and D.O. stands in front of the older. “Ryeowook will try first! 30 seconds, how many can he do? Ready --- go!”

D.O. leaps into Ryeowook’s arms ignoring the cat calls of his member. He can feel the petite man shaking and tries to tense up and hold as much of his own weight as he can. The look of concentration and determination was really cute. And the tiny arms around his waist was hot. His heart sweeps with every down drop and D.O. hopes his face is still in a signature blank instead of reflecting the gooiness he feels on the inside.

Ryeowook squeezes out 8 just as the beeper stopped and everyone ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’.

D.O. switches places with his hyung and as soon as the man is in his arms he knows he could probably beat the record.

The beeper starts and Ryeowook hyung is in his arms, and yeah he’s kinda heavy, but D.O. can’t stop the smile that comes to his face. He squats down once and leans forward a bit, making a show of overbalancing a bit before righting himself up. He can’t help but giggle out loud – whereas his members had been encouraging towards Ryeowook, towards him they were throwing out cushioned insults and making it easy to laugh.

On the second squat down, Sehun lets out a not so quiet, “I bet his insoles are going flat” that is the perfect cue for D.O. to start laughing and tipping over, knees never able to get back up and resulting in him landing on top of Ryeowook. Everyone takes that prompt to start laughing hysterically as Sungmin pronounces a winner.

Underneath him, Ryeowook gives him a hooded smile. “This is why you’re my favorite,” Ryeowook purrs and D.O. can only give a cheeky grin in reply before his eyes widen at the brush of a knee near his crotch.

He goes to his seat grinning and doesn’t even kick Sehun in the shin for the comment.

 

**Sehun-Krystal**

“You really shouldn’t,” Sehun says quietly. Krystal just huffs at him from her position on the floor, midway to a stretch that shouldn’t look so damn erotic.

“They asked me to pick a partner and I chose you. Be grateful, you hardly get any screen time anyway,” Krystal looks at him and her words may seem sharp to another but it’s not in Sehun to get all into a tizzy from a few cutting remarks. At least she hasn’t started making fun of his lisp yet. This is Krystal being nice.

“My fans will destroy you. They’re crazy like that,” he is just a tiny bit worried. Krystal already gets so much negativity, he doesn’t want to be the one to add more to it.

She scoffs before moving forward to do the splits. “I’m soooo scared of a bunch of 12 year old girls marking my cybercafé with hate mail,” she rolls her eyes as she bends forward from her split to bring her face to the floor. Sehun gulps and hopes she doesn’t hear.

“I have a lot of noona fans too,” Sehun protests because he really doesn’t like the thought that a good deal of his paycheck is from the attention of girls who shouldn’t know how to be that concerned about his dick. Noonas are more threatening anyway. Kinda.

Krystal looks up again and gives him a judging glare. “And I have oppa and uncle fans. I also have Sica-unnies army fan group. They said they had to protect their princess’ baby sister,” she sniffs, finally jumping up and going towards the stereo to play the song.

Sehun mulls that over. Army men versus cyber preteen girls. He looks at the way Krystal is bent unnecessarily forward, ass out as she shuffles through the ipod.

Well Krystal has always been good at handling herself, so he doesn’t feel guilty sliding his hands around her tiny waist when the music starts.

 

 

**Tao-Jaejoong**

Tao gives the man before him an appraising look. He gets the same look back. Jaejoong licks his lips for a second and Tao can’t help but follow the movement. They stare off for a second before Tao walks up to him.

“Can you take a selca with me, hyung?”

He hears the members behind him gasp. Tao never shares a camera screen, not willingly.

Jaejoong smiles, eyes crinkling and a hand automatically going up to cover his lips. Tao takes the opportunity to slip an arm around a tiny waist and holds the camera up high doing an exaggerated wink while Jaejoong does a V.

He looks at the end product and turns around to give a shy smile to Jaejoong. He isn’t expecting fingers to pinch his cheeks.

“You’re so cute! I’ve always wanted a panda!” the older male cooes letting out a husky laugh after.

Tao has no time to frown at the breach in personal space before he is whisked away, the older deaf to his protests.

His thumb actually aches at the end of two hours and he is convinced he has taken more selcas with Jaejoong today than he has in his entire life.

Tao’s regret doesn’t take full hold until Jaejoong asks the next set to be shirtless.

 

 

**Baekhyun-Taeyeon**

“Don’t kill me please!” Baekhyun shouts to Taeyeon who to her credit doesn’t jump up at the intrusion of a body slamming through the door.

But she also doesn’t have much time to do anything before arms are wrapped around her body and she is squeezed into what is probably supposed to be a hug but is more of a wrestlers lift. She is put down and she thinks she feels a grope on her ass but it’s so faint she can’t tell. Just as a fast and suddenly there Baekhyun is bowing before her, forehead as one with the floor.

Baekhyun is mortified and suddenly the promise of switching bathroom duty with Chanyeol for the next three months seems like a ridiculous reason to practically sexually harass the leader of the hottest girl group in the country. In the world even. (Honestly though suffering death by girl is a lot more appealing than cleaning the tiny bathroom used by 12 guys who are more prone to sudden bouts of diarrhea than a dog with worms).

He feels a hand petting his head and looks up at the awkward expression on the tiny leader. “Bet, huh?” she asks.

Baekhyun is so startled that he isn’t immediately being fired (or sent to jail. Or being mauled by snsd stans) that he can only dumbly nod.

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” She straightens up before grabbing her bag and opening the door a little more violently than necessary, ignoring the yelp and thud from the other side before sashing out.

Baekhyun thinks he may be in love.

**Chanyeol - Siwon**

“Please hyung!” Chanyeol widens up his eyes a bit, knowing their naturally wet shine would help his pitiful look.

He represses a squawk when he is crushed bodily into a hug. Damn, Siwon is built.

“I’m sorry, Chanyeollie, but you’re a Park. Only Choi’s are allowed into the line” Siwon’s expression was so earnest Chanyeol is almost ready to give up gracefully. Too bad he was Chanyeol.

“But Changmin-sunbae is a Shim!” Chanyeol hops he doesn’t sound too petulant. He doesn’t want to be pet on the head and dismissed.

“But his stage name is Choikang. I can let that slide,” Siwon answers smoothly, stroking Chanyeol’s arms as if the tall giant would cry.

“Kyuhyun-sunbae! He’s a Cho! Not a Choi!”

Ha, counter that.

Siwon shruggs, hands rubbing against his nape.

“Cho is close enough, it has a ‘c’ ‘h’ and ‘o’” Siwon tries to explain. And Chanyeol might have given up here if it wasn’t for the argument he came prepared with thanks to an exasperated Suho.

“I’m Chanyeol. I’m sure you could bend the rules a little and make it the ‘ch’ club instead. I would totally bring up the SM’s Choi’s average height. And wait till I get buff!” Chanyeol flaps his arms around for emphasis. “Everyone would think it’s because of Siwon hyung’s gentle guidance!”

He sees the inner turmoil inside Siwon before finally he lets out a sigh and then breaks into a smile, pulling him into yet another hug. “It’s only because you’re so cute.”

Chanyeol doesn’t dare breath for fear that the hug might get tighter. Like a boa constrictor.

“The rest have to agree to it to though,” Siwon warns, finally letting go. Chanyeol nods his head so fast he sees double. Siwon turns to leave and Chanyeol shoots a quick text to Sooyoung promising a full course meal if she agrees. He get’s a “;D <3 ” as a reply and puts his phone away grinning. He’ll ask Chen to ask (seduce) Changmin-hyung into saying yes. Minho will do whatever Changmin does. Kyuhyun will need to be bribed but Chanyeol thinks he might have the solution for that (a drunk Zhou-Mi is all too willing to give a strip tease show to an audience that really doesn’t want it.)

Wait until Baekhyun hears that he finally joined the elusive Choi club. The torment the shorter male will go through makes Chanyeol cackle.

 

**Kris-Amber**

“Llama”

“Alpaca”

“Llama!”

“Al-fucking-paca!”

Kris emphasises his point by shoving Ace into Amber’s face. He may be a little drunk but not as drunk as the girl in front of him. She started stripping a few minutes ago (Kris can’t stop his eyes going to the frilly blue bra) to prove that she bad better abs than the galaxy giant and somehow tripped on the bed in front of Ace claiming he was a cute little ‘llama’.

Amber cries in outrage before viciously kicking out and Kris has a second to dodge a hit to a very precious part of his body. Gangly as he is, he trips and falls next to Amber. Having a half naked girl in his bed should be a lot sexier than this, he thinks.

Amber pouts at him, eyes suddenly big and sad. “Are llamas not your style?” she asks in English.

Kris groans before throwing an arm around her. He hides his blush at the nape of her neck when he whispers, “You’re my style”.

His night gets a bit sexier after that.

 

 

**Luhan-Minho**

Minho loves the Kyu-line (hyung-whoreness is engrained into his DNA) but he is sick and tired of how touchy-feely his hyungs get when they are drunk.

That’s why at the next Kyu-line meeting he drags in a wide eyed Luhan. A man that can do that many keep ups and trick shots has to be manly enough to drink properly, right?

Luhan immediately starts bowing at the presence of his seniors giving Minho a panicked and betrayed look. Minho rolls his eyes before plopping down beside Kyuhyun who gives him an amused smirk before pushing a shot glass at Luhan.

“I-I’m not supposed to drink,” Luhan stutters struggling between his manners for his seniors and the rules Kris and Suho jointly drilled into him.

Four shots and quarter of a bottle of soju later, Minho has hands up Luhan’s shirt and it’s not as sexy as one would think it would be.

Especially since he is trying desperately to stop the older from throwing himself into Changmin’s lap who is laughing so hysterically he bumps into Kyuhyun who spills alcohol all over the tall man. A glint appears in his eyes and Minho has the unfortunate privilege of seeing his hyungs inappropriately consume alcohol. Off each others bodies.

Luhan moans and then gurgles, eyes wide before he slumps, passed out and Minho wants to cry.

 

 


End file.
